Skip to main content

I love you through the "I hate you's"

To my child,

Today you told me you hate me.  It wasn't the first time, and it probably won't be the last.  Our relationship will always be at odds with each other.  This is the nature of being mother and daughter.  I had - and sometimes still have - the same relationship with my own mother, and she had the same relationship with her mother.

The truth of the matter is that I struggle being a mother.  Nothing in my life has prepared me for this task.  I'm learning as I go...and I'm making a lot of mistakes.  Growing up, I was taught to be a strong woman.  In my career, I have been placed in positions to show my strength and independence.  But, being a strong woman does not always translate to being a strong mother.  Too often these terms are separated to say you cannot have both.  As a mom, I have attempted to balance life as a woman and life as a mother instead of combining these terms into something more manageable.

If I'm being truthfully honest with you.  I often times don't want to be a mom.  I want to be your friend, instead.  I want us to enjoy all of the times we have together and make memories that will last us a lifetime.  But, this isn't the relationship of parent to child.  My job is to train you.  This means that we will come to odds when I try teaching you what's right versus what's wrong.  Today it was over something on the small side.  This won't always be the case.  In the future we will confront large issues of right vs. wrong/good vs. bad.  I know that you would like me to give in and let you have your way, but that's not what my role as your mom allows me to do.

My role as your mom is to be the person you know is looking out for your best intentions - whether it be not allowing you to eat candy before dinner so that you can be filled with food that gives you proper nutrients or correcting - and possibly disciplining - you when you've acted in a manner which could cause harm to you or someone else.  Someday I hope that you see I've fulfilled the responsibilities that fall into my role as mom.



I will not always do the right things as a mom.  I'm still learning.  Each stage and obstacle we surpass teaches me more.  But, I'm still human.  I will always make mistakes.  I will lose my temper.  I won't always understand you and what you're going through.  And, the same will be true of you.

Know this, you may hate me for the moment - and in future moments - but I love you.  I am not always happy with the things you do or the way you act, but I love you.  Through our disagreements, fights, corrections, and discipline I will continue to love you.  There is not one thing that you can do or say to me that will stop me from loving you.  I may not always respond well in the moment, but I will work hard to always show you that my love for you goes through the times when my responses are less than perfect.


Be patient with me as I journey through the struggles of learning how to be a mom.  If possible, could you also slow down just a bit.  You're growing so fast I can hardly keep up.  But, I'm trying.  I will keep trying and keep loving you until I take my last breath.  Then, you will hopefully still feel my love for you deep inside of you.

I love you through the I hate you's.

Love,
Your mom


Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Leadership Mom: SWOT Analysis

In business, leaders often analyze our Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities, and Threats through a SWOT analysis.  So, if we are going to look at our role as moms as being the greatest leadership opportunity to us, let's start with analyzing ourselves and our kids.  Here's the SWOT I developed for my family: Family SWOT Analysis As a doting mother, there are hundreds of strengths that I could put up here for my kids.  Their hugs, kisses, bedtime stories and prayers, the fact that they come to me when they're seeking healing from an injury (physical or emotional), the notes and drawings they make for me, their precious hearts when they try to help me or that they've learned how to use the Keurig to bring me coffee in the morning...I could go on and on. Now, here's the part where we get honest with ourselves.  Yes, we love our kids and we love our family (or, hopefully, most of the time), but we are not perfect.  Nor should we be perfect.  As we analyze oursel
3 comments
Read more

Cybersecurity 101

One of the things that continually amazes me as a parent of young(er) children is their ability to quickly understand technology and its uses.  Not only have my children learned the art of swiping to use different devices, but they've also learned how to access apps, take pictures, answer calls (both phone and Skype), and more.  My children could teach their grandparents a lesson or two on how to use technology. But, as a student of cybersecurity, I have seen a greater need to educate my children - as well as so many others - on the cybersecurity.  This goes beyond posting inappropriate pictures and unfriendly words on social media (although these lessons must also be taught).  This goes into the nature of understanding the benefits and risks of using technology and the privacy lost to it.  The major premise that must be understood in regards to cybersecurity is that information/data is money.  It's value is continually increasing.  We need to secure our information just as w
Post a Comment
Read more

Why can't they just be friends?

Why can't my kids just be friends?  I must ask myself this question hundreds of times during the week.  I thought that having kids relatively close together was going to be great.  They'd have a playmate and an automatic friend.  However, the truth is that - most of the time - they don't get along.  It's not that they're enemies...it's that they drive each other crazy.  They each want the other one to do what they want to do.  Then, when the other one does what they want, they get mad at them because they wanted to do it themselves. They don't want to share their toys.  Then, they play together only to then get mad and purposefully break the other sibling's toys. They want to get the other one in trouble so that they look like the "good" child and get more rewards.  Then they get upset that the other sibling got them in trouble when they *tattled* on them. At mealtimes, they want to sit where the other one is sitting.  They want the c
Post a Comment
Read more