Murphy's Laws for Moms

I love playing with my kids, but sometimes I just need a break. I don't mean a break away from my kids, just a break away from bending down, playing pretend, fitting in toys & accessories not made for an adult and, in general, just a break from playing. I could take my kids to a park, but I'm a concerned, worrying mom who looks at everyone walking, running and driving past the park. What are they doing here without children ? Are they looking at my kid? Will I be the next frightened mother on the news asking people if they've seen my stolen child. I also look around the park and ask myself, where will my child get injured? Which apparatus will my child toss himself off? What disgusting thing will my child pick up? To where will my child run off? Will I be the next frightened mother on the news asking if you've seen my lost child? That's why my kids and I love coming to Lil Cups & Grownups in Vancouver, WA. It's indoors, so we can play any time of the...

With the start of a new school year, I've resolved to show my children's teachers that I'm a really good parent.  After all, I've already gotten two warning notes sent home for dressing my daughter in a dress on dance class day and allowing her to bring a toy to school which resulted in a disruption during circle time.  Since I've failed these areas, the only other way to show I'm an exceptional parent is through my children's lunches.  So, I've been making everything from fresh ingredients.  Spaghetti with tomatoes from our garden, sandwiches with freshly chopped vegetables and whole grain breads, fresh fruit, veggie snacks and nothing with extra salt.  Not only is this preparation of lunches exhausting and unsustainable for an entire school year, it's flat out illogical to believe that my children will actually eat everything I include in these lunches.  My children like salt.  They like sweets.  They like fats.  If it's unhealthy, it's...

Throughout history, there's been so many changes about what defines beauty.  Throughout my thirty-uhhum years of life, these perceptions of beauty have continually changed - not only with the clothes and hairstyles we wear but the appropriate weight, dimensions, and other personal characteristics that are sometimes difficult to hide and impossible to change. I was blessed to have been born with a lanky, scrawny body which bore numerous marks of teenage hormones and frizzy hair before the invention of Frizz-Ease and when you straightened your hair via a perm.  I spent years going through different exercise routines, certain that strengthening my pectoral muscles would increase my chest size and, when that didn't work, purchasing the most highly padded bras I could find within my limited budget.  I tested out numerous hairstyles and hair colors determined to emulate the looks of fashion models gracing the covers of magazines and actresses in my favorite TV shows and movi...

This day and age it seems that everyone gets their own 15 minutes of fame. After all, with cameras readily available and nearly everywhere, any of life's moments  - be it crazy, loving, insane or horrendous - can be recorded and sent around the globe in an instant. So, it seems only a matter of time before my children get their own 15 minutes of fame. Here are some of the headlines you might see: 1. New Guiness Book record set for longest tantrum in a store 2. New store near Portland specializes in bathing bats 3. Toddlers caught breaking & entering for treats-think every day is Halloween 4. Local Toddlers hired as security experts 5. Two-year-old boy becomes youngest to win super ninja competition 6. Toddler girl hired as negotiator; doesn't give competition a chance to say no 7. Family purchases own ER room 8. Girl, 4, proves you can speak only in questions 9. Area bird farm brings together chickens, ducks, flamingos & penguins 10. Portland-area mom lo...

At the end of every month when I'm looking over my credit card bills, bank statements, investment accounts and numerous other places my money goes, I realize that life costs money.  Kids cost money.  My husband continues to ask why our grocery bill exponentially increases as our children grow older.  Kids grow out of clothes, shoes, beds, and so much more which cost money to replace.  Toys that were popular last year are discarded and new toys are purchased in an effort to entertain our children for even a small portion of time so that we can take a shower, eat a hot meal, or just sit and play with them.  It all has a cost and, eventually, we must teach our children about these costs so that they can become well-functioning, non-overspending, responsible adults. But, there's more that has a cost - and it's just as important to include in our children's education. Every day, every week, month and year, men and women - heroes - are lost fighting for America's ...

 Over the holiday weekend, my husband and I were invited to go camping with a group of about 10 families - all with kids.  We thought, "This will be interesting."  Our kids love the outdoors.  They love building tents.  They love playing with friends, going swimming, hiking and roasting marshmallows...all things that should transfer to great quality time on a camping trip.  And, for the most part it did. Swimming area Getting ready to hike the Ape Caves Hiking through the Ape Caves We had a blast camping at Cresap Bay at Lake Merwin near Mt. St. Helens as we hiked through the Mt. St. Helens Ape Cave Lava Tube - a fabulous rainy day activity.  We brought along a couple of rafts and the husband and kids enjoying swimming at the swimming beach in the day-use area of Cresap Bay Park.  We played with the sand toys in both the sand and dirt, hiked the trails around the campsite, and the husband and oldest child even went fishing togethe...